Negative stigma often attached to a single mother. Not being able to take care of a husband with a good, unselfish and often labeled too demanding husband so so causes rift households.
In the case of divorce, women are often labeled as the more guilty party. In fact, the domestic rift comes from both sides.
Negative impression about the single mom has ever stopped yourself Ainun Chomsun. Mother of one child could even avoid meeting her extended family as reluctant to serve a barrage of questions about the cause of her divorce with her ex-husband.
“At the beginning I avoid, do not want to hang out at a point that is not safe (with the negative stigma). Stigma that makes me run out of energy to serve them. Having two new years I got out, it started to hang out more,” said Ainun, when talking with wolipop in The Reading Room, Kemang, South Jakarta, Wednesday (06/06/2012).
Then, how Ainun deal with the negative stigma that comes to him? According to one author of the book ‘The Single Moms’ is, one can not control the environment that goes like wishes. To that end, the man who must be smart to anticipate the circumstances that may occur.
“The environment is not something that can be controlled, but I can choose the environment where I can enter,” said Ainun.
For the single mom out there who are too often stigmatized less pleasant to hear, Ainun advise not care. But of course, must be ready to the worst possible circumstances.
“If you’re ready hadapin only. If not ready, leave. I once was branded ‘uninteresting’. Guy talking about, I live. Risk I labeled those who are not friendly,” he said.
In line with Ainun, Mia Amalia, who was a single mom also chose to ignore the words of people who may only know the issue at the surface. Fortunately, the woman who claimed to like ‘stubborn’ has always had the support of his mother. The mother asserted, as long as he does not hurt and take other people’s rights, not to listen to negative talk about.
“They could say my life failed, but look deh my kids. Would say does not matter what it is, but look at who’s better. Sometimes (I am being) the bodo, sometimes I balikin. Happy and not too bothered what the word people, “said Mia.
Not only the mother, the negative stigma can also be experienced child. Often children who come from a broken home feel embarrassed or insecure because of ridicule or negative view of peers. Is it true that children raised single parents are more prone to psychological problems than the family intact?
The answer is not always. Psychologists Efnie Indrianie, M.Psi explained, children who get enough attention from her parents even after divorce, less likely to be depressed, shy or quiet at school and friendships.
“The average child receives enough attention from their parents, usually will not be a problem with comments discrediting the status of his family. Due to the need for parental figure has been fulfilled,” said Efnie, when contacted wolipop, Thursday (07/05/2012).
He explained that making a child emotionally unstable, is if one parent vilifying the other parent figure. When to divorce and live separately, as far as possible parents have to instill positive views. Whether it’s about a father figure and a mother, other family and reassure the child that he will still be getting the love and attention the same as before the parents divorced.